I'm a fixer...

Just a little epiphany I had today (I guess that's the teacher in me).

I'm a fixer, always have been and always will be. If something is broken I feel the need to fix it. It's like this innate urge that I have a hard time suppressing. I guess it's a good thing to like to fix things but it can also cause a lot of frustration. Ever since I was little I felt like it was my job to make things all better. When Briana died, I felt like I had to fix it so that my family wasn't sad anymore. When my companions and I were struggling with the work in Spain, I felt the need to fix it and make it all better. When my mom died, I felt like I needed to fix the pain and grief that my family was going through again. Still today, when I get frustrated because I can't fix everything, I feel the need to fix myself ( if that makes any sense). This habit, I guess you could call it that, has been a friend and a foe to me over the years.
But over the last month things happened to change how I feel about "fixing" things and it has helped me find a happy medium. A little over a year ago I had a friendship "broken" and I tried for over a year to "fix" it, with no luck. It remained broken and I got even more frustrated because I couldn't fix it. Yet, through that experience I learned that you can't fix everything, no matter how hard you try or what you do. I'm grateful for the experience because it has helped me to let go of the things I can't fix and not focus on them so much:) I know that in the future I will still find things that I "need" to fix but I now feel more confident to let the unimportant "fixings" go because some things in life are going to remain broken and that is okay. The things I can't fix have been covered by the Savior. I love the Christmas season because it helps remind me that my Savior is the master fixer and that I really need to leave more things at his feet rather than hold on to them just because I'm determined to do it by myself. I know that he is there for the big and little things. He is my Lord, Savior and Redeemer and I'm grateful to celebrate his birth. Merry Christmas and here's to a wonderful new year!

We are white trash.... here's the proof.

These decorations were just taken down a week before Thanksgiving. We are white trash but at least our door doesn't face the street!

Ughhh

The almost unsurmountable pile of laundry that keeps coming back to my house. Seriously, I'm offering a reward for whoever finds the person that keeps doing laundry and not folding it:)

What I come home to....

I look forward to seeing these three little faces everyday after work and when we come back from vacation! And this is what we see every time (except Chancey is usually waiting right by the gate rather than up on the porch.

I'm sure that some people look at us with our three dogs and think that we are poster children for Elder Oaks talk about having dogs instead of kids, but we love them and are excited to introduce our kids to them. They have been a nice trial run at parenting before we have kids. :) And for those who are worried... we will have kids sooner than later.

The newest additions

#1

Who was I kidding? When we got Puma I said, "Oh we'll have her for a while and then we'll find her a good home." That didn't happen and we decided to keep her. She is such a good pup and I can't imagine not having her as a dog. We sure do love this little puppy and look forward to having her for many years to come.

#2
We traded in the Honda and got a new 2009 Ford F150. Some eye candy for you truck lovers.

The Prince

Here are some pictures of the Bunker's broken leg that I had posted about earlier. He sure felt like a prince for the five days that he got to be inside and a little pampered.
Bunker the day that he broke his leg. Sitting like a prince inside the warm house with two pillows.

Bunker now that his splint is off.

Up close picture of Bunker's leg. He has a steel pin inside of it.

Remembering and Celebrating

November and December are always a little somber and reflective with the holidays, my mom and Briana's birthdays and my mom's passing. I guess I should be grateful that it is all rolled up into a couple of months rather than spaced out. Yet, even though there is reason to be gloomy I still find reason to celebrate. I celebrate the life they both lived and how intimately connected I am to both of them. They may not be right here in front of my face but they are always there. My family was and still is one of the greatest blessings in my life. I celebrate the times we had together, the memories and lessons learned. Now my "family" is different but that doesn't take away from what I knew and loved for 23 years. I wish that my Adam could have met my mom and Briana but I feel so grateful when I get the chance to tell him a funny story or cry about something I remember. It is a time of sweet tenderness, with some tears, when I get the chance to tell someone about my mom and sister. How grateful I am for the gospel that has taught me to take a time of sadness and turn it into something sweet. Love you Mom and Bri.
Mom's grave
Sunflowers

Briana's Grave with Sunflowers